Cujo (1983) Review

   I think it's a good idea, making a more realistic horror movie, not
about ghosts or undying serial killers, but just an animal.
Unfortunately it's not done right at all.
  Cujo is one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen! And I'm a big
horror fan. Nothing ever happens until 40 minutes in! Until then it's a
bunch of drama and crap about a cereal company, and this all leads to
NOTHING!
   The characters are stupid, all they do is cry and whine. I just wanted
to punch the screen of my ipod because I hate these people so much. And
Cujo is boring. You don't feel sorry for him when he dies because he
didn't do ANYTHING. There is absolutely no development for the title
character!
  It's super slow, the first half of the movie is pointless, the
characters are dumb, and it's just plain awful >:(

My Rating: 2/10

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008-Present) Review

  The Star Wars universe is constantly expanding, people just keep adding, and adding, and adding, but now they have gone TOO FAR. I'm talking about Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
  It started out as a movie and then became a TV show, set in between episodes II and III, when the Clone Wars are being fought.
  The thing I hate most about this show the most is the characters. There are so many to talk about. First of all there's Anakin and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is alright I guess, but Anakin is always acting really stupid and the voice acting is terrible, I just hate him.
  Then there's Ahsoka, who might be the dumbest fictional character ever created. She's whiny and it's just annoying to listen to her voice. She was created for this show just because the writers needed a female jedi, and didn't have the time to come up with a good one I guess. She's a pointless turd.
  And then there's Jar Jar Binks. I actually liked Jar Jar in Episode I, believe it or not, he was a really fun character. Sure, he was really stupid, but that was why I liked this guy, but in this poor excuse for a TV show they bring his stupidity to levels that aren't even close to funny anymore, just annoying.
  There's also Ziro the hutt. I seriously thought this guy was a girl. He sounds like a girl and he's even colored purple. Before I figured out he was a guy I saw him kissing a girl in an episode and I was like, "is she homosexual or something?" He just really seems like a girl.
  Ziro's mother on the other hand seems totally like a guy. She's HUGE, with green skin and has a really deep voice. Please people, get the sexual characteristics right for your characters. It's not that hard.
  And then there is Darth Maul. They brought him back from the grave just so they can rape him like they raped all the other characters of theirs. His brother finds him in a cave with mechanical spider legs, (no, not making this up) and he is totally insane so his brother brings him back to a witch who does some exorcism type thing on him and then he's back to normal more or less. He loses the spider legs and gets more General Grievous style legs, and then vows revenge on Obi-Wan for cutting him in half. Even when he's back to normal he's still stupid cause he talks too much. In Episode I he was like a ninja, very quiet, only talking when it was really necessary. It made him badass, but in this it's just "blah blah blah you cut off my legs blah blah blah I must get revenge". And if I remember correctly he's not even using that cool double lightsaber anymore. Yet another good character ruined by this horrible show.
  Now what about the animation? Well, it stinks. It's computer generated and I'm not a huge fan of that way of animating things. Everyone looks so weird, and their hair is strange too. It's doesn't look like it's several strands of hair, it's like it's just one big mass.
  The show is also kind of violent for a children's cartoon. It's got strippers and swearing, that stuff doesn't usually bother me but jeez this is cartoon network man.
  Oh, and there was one episode where there was barely any action at all just a bunch of political babble. Is that really what children want to watch? Stupid, stupid show. What a piece of crap.
  Alright, that's the end of my little rant. It's a horrible show and if you are a big Star Wars fan I guess you could give the movie a try, but ONLY DIE HARD FANS. And if you don't like it then just stay away from the rest of the series, it will only piss you off.

My rating: 1/10

Top 5 Favorite Movies (2012 List)

Here's my top 5 favorite movies list. I change my mind constantly, so next year I'll probably do a new list.

5. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

It's got a great story, great characters, great action sequences, the soundtrack is great, it's all around just GREAT.

4. Gojira (1954)

I've already talked about this film. See my review here.

3. Batman (1989)

This is what Batman should be. He's dark yet heroic, Joker is totally crazy, the Batmobile design is great, and the actors are just phenomenal! It's got atmosphere, and probably the best superhero movie soundtrack ever. It's a really great film.

2. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

What sets this film apart from other slasher movies like Friday the 13th, is that it's pretty original, and it actually has likable characters. It also has atmosphere, a nice soundtrack, Freddy Krueger is one of my favorite monsters ever, and it has great actors too, like Robert Englund and Heather Langenkamp, plus this was also Johnny Depps first movie.

1. Mothra VS Godzilla (1964)

It has everything a Godzilla movie needs: Destruction, a good fight, a bit of goofiness, nice characters, the whole shebang. I guess King Kong VS Godzilla also has those qualities, but I consider this my first Godzilla movie, so it has some sentimental value too.

Kung Fu Panda's Jumping The Shark

Sequel = Pointless

*****************SPOILER ALERT!*****************

    Kung Fu Panda (2008) is probably my favorite animated movie ever, but it suffers from a curse that many other movies also suffer from: Unnecessary and stupid sequels. Why is it unnecessary and stupid? Here's why:
  1st, the villain is uninteresting.
  2nd, I found the plot is dull when compared to the first.
  3rd, it's not as funny or as charming as the first.
  4th, Po and Tigress are actually falling in love.
  5th, they also try to expand on Po's back story, but they didn't have to, I really didn't care much.
  6th, the ending of the first film was when it should have been over. Some movies just shouldn't have sequels, and Kung Fu Panda is no exception. The first film had a good ending. To keep on continuing like this is a sin. Those money hungry jerks at Dreamworks should be ashamed.
  Well, I guess it's not a horrible film, but when compared to the first it's crap, and it was totally pointless and should never have been made. I just want them to leave a good movie alone, but they actually have a 3rd movie planned. Gee, are Po and Tigress gonna start kissing in this one? It is pointless and should never have been made.

My rating: 4.5/10

The Avengers (2012) Review

******************************************SPOILER ALERT!***********************************************

  Alright, the Avengers. First I'm going to talk about the flaws, this movie suffers from 2 very major flaws: Bad pacing, and too much focus on Iron Man. Let me go into more detail.
  The pacing is just way too fast. There's this one scene where Iron Man and Loki are talking, seems nice slow after all that chaos earlier in the movie, and then suddenly Loki's army comes, and then everyone starts fighting. And this all happens with in like 5 minutes! I'm like SLOW DOWN ALREADY!
  And then there's just way too much focus on Iron Man. He already got 2 movies, Captain America should be the star of this. But NOPE. Iron Man, Iron Man, Iron Man. I mean, Cap isn't even my favorite, but he should still be the main hero because he was the leader in the comics. It just makes sense.
  Now by this time you probably think I'm going to give this movie a negative review right? Well actually no. This movie did something that I don't think any other movie series has done, making several different movies and having them lead up to this. It will probably influence many other films in the future. Oh, and That character Coulson, I didn't like him very much, but after watching the Avengers I changed my mind about him, and was actually kinda pissed when he died. But it's got some pretty amusing moments too.
  One thing that's great about this is Hulk. This is the way Hulk should be. The other movies just couldn't get him right for some reason. Ang Lee tried to hard to be "artistic" or whatever, and it ended up being boring. The 2008 film didn't have as much artistic crap, but still kinda dull. Avengers did him right, and I'm glad.
  So the pacing is horrible, and Iron Man is really starting to get on my nerves, but I give it a thumbs up anyway for doing something new, being funny, making Coulson more likable, and finally doing Hulk right.

My rating: 7/10

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) Review

**********************************************SPOILER ALERT!***********************************************

  The film starts out with Tommy from the last 2 films going to the cemetery where Jason's body is, so he can destroy it, unfortunately by doing this he will just bring him back.
  So Tommy and his friend dig up the grave and when Tommy sees Jason's body, he gets angry and starts stabbing him with a steel pole. When he walks off for a minute lightning strikes the pole and kinda like Frankenstein it brings him back. He kills the friend but Tommy escapes. Jason then puts on his iconic hockey mask again, and then the camera zooms into his eye, where they parody the James Bond gun barrel sequence. Personally, I found that hilarious.

  After the credits roll we see that Jason is trying to find Tommy, killing everyone in his path, but it's a bit hard to take seriously after that James Bond moment, but we forget about it eventually. And him killing people is really all that happens the rest of the movie. There's slasher films, what do you expect?
  At the end of the movie Tommy lures Jason into the lake where he was originally drowned. He gets a chain around Jason's neck, which is tied to a rock, and he goes down to the bottom of the lake and can't get back up. A forgettable female character who we'll probably never see again in any sequels, starts a motor boat in front of Jason, and he gets all cut up by the propeller. Everyone has a happy ending, but Jason opens his eye, meaning that we can have yet another sequel.
  This is my favorite Friday the 13th film. I'm still in the process of watching them all so I might get a new favorite later, but so far, this was the best. It's funny, it's got lots of cool deaths, and it skips all that crap about not seeing the killers face, or I guess mask. His hockey mask is one of the things that make him so cool! The other ones should have started out like this.
  So yeah, it's a great movie. If you're a fan of horror movies then check it out. I don't think you even have to watch the other movies to enjoy it.

My rating: 7.5/10

Batman VS Superman

  Alright, so I've been seeing people saying things like, "Batman is the best superhero because he's just a regular human, and he has limits." And then there are also people who say "Superman is stupid because he's too powerful!" And I don't get it.
  If anyone is too powerful, it's Batman. He's supposed to be just a normal human, but he beats people with amazing super powers like Poison Ivy or Clayface, HE DEFEATS EVERYONE. Clearly his limits aren't as great as people say.
  Superman actually seems to have greater limits because of his weakness to kryptonite. It seems like kryptonite is a fairly easy thing to get a hold of, cause Lex Luthor to has like tons of it.
  Now I may not know what I'm talking about, cause I'm not exactly up to date with these characters, I've barely read any of the comics, but I have seen the Superman films, the Batman films, Batman the animated series, and Justice League Unlimited, plus I've read a lot about them on the internet, and it seems Batman is just too powerful, and Superman is really just fine.
  Please comment and share your opinions on this.

Teaser Poster For Legendary Picture's Godzilla Reboot Revealed

  It's not much, but us Godzilla fans are super excited that at least something has been revealed about the new movie.

Batman Returns (1992) Review

*****************************************SPOILER ALERT!***********************************************

  The film starts out around 30 years ago, where the Penguin is born. He's really ugly and his parents are afraid of him, so they drop him in a river, and he floats into the sewer.
  It then goes to the present where a bunch of maniacs are attacking the city, so commissioner Gordan turns on the bat signal, and Bruce Wayne sees it and turns into Batman. You would think Batman would have a more exciting return than just looking at the bat signal, but I guess it's alright.
  So Batman saves the day, and we meet Max Shreck, a businessman, and his assistant Selina Kyle. Selina learns about Shreck's evil plans to make a power plant that will actually suck the energy out of Gotham. She knows too much so he throws her out the window, but a bunch of cats go around her and nibble on her fingers. Somehow this gives her 9 lives, at least I think, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
  So she goes home a becomes Catwoman, and The Penguin reveals himself to the world, by pretending to save a baby. He says he never knew his mother and father and lived in a sewer all his life, so everyone starts feeling sorry for him and let's him figure out who he really is. He finds out that he's Oswald Cobblepot, and after that he tries to become mayor with the help Max Shreck. Shreck is helping him because he needs his power plant built and if Penguin wins the election he can make that possible.
  Penguin starts framing Batman, making the people of Gotham believe he kidnapped and woman, and even pushed her off a building. Batman doesn't really do anything to regain their trust, they just start trusting him again anyway. It's weird.
  So Batman gets a CD of The Penguin talking about his evil plans and plays it over and over, and that makes everyone in Gotham go against Cobblepot, so he flees back to the sewer, and to get his revenge he decided to kidnap all the first born sons of Gotham and kill them, but Batman saves them all.
  So instead he sends out a bunch of Penguins with bombs to kill everyone, but Batman stops that too. And in the final battle Max Shreck dies, The Penguin dies, and Catwoman disappears with only 1 live left.
  Many people didn't like this movie because it was "too dark". That wasn't really an issue with me, I just thought it was kind of boring. The plot was okay, kinda complicated, but it was still okay. One thing that annoyed me was how Batman would kill, he did that in the first too. Didn't Burton even care to keep it like the comic books?
  It's not really a bad film, it just lacked the atmosphere of the first and didn't have as interesting villains. It did however have a great soundtrack like the first film. If you're a big Batman fan I say watch it, if not you can pass it. But make sure you check out the first Tim Burton Batman, it's really good and one of my favorite movies ever.

My Rating: 6/10

Friday the 13th (1980) Review

  Happy Friday the 13th! To celebrate, here's a review of the very first Friday the 13th movie:

********************************************SPOILER ALERT!**************************************************

  So a bunch of teenagers are staying at Camp Crystal Lake, and there's a killer stalking them. That's about it. In this the killer is not Jason Voorhees, it's actually Pamela Voorhees, his mother. She's killing everyone at the camp because in 1957 Jason was at the camp trying to swim, but no one was doing their job and keeping an eye on him, and he drown. Now she wants revenge.
  The first half of the movie isn't very good. Just some boring deaths and a bunch of sex. Plus you don't even see the killer's face. Although there is this one pretty cool kill, a boy is laying down on a bed, when from beneath the bed an arrow comes up through his throat.
  The second half of the movie is better. You can see the face of Pamela Voorhees now, and there's only one kid left, so they focus on just her now. The remaining kid chops off the head of Mrs. Voorhees, and then gets into a boat. Well she's in the boat Jason somehow comes back from the dead and pulls her into the water, but she wakes up in the hospital. And that's the end of the movie.
  When they start talking about Jason it really gets you hyped to see the next movie where he's actually the killer. I'd say watch it if your a horror fan. But remember the first half of the movie is going to be pretty boring. And if you watch this one, be sure to watch part II soon after. It's much better, very suspenseful and could actually make you jump too.

My Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

My Top 10 Best Superheroes Ever List

10. IRON MAN

9. ANT-MAN

8. SUPERMAN

7. GREEN LANTERN

6. THOR

5. DOCTOR STRANGE

4. FLASH

3. BATMAN

2. HULK

1. SPIDER-MAN

The top 5 worst remakes/reboots

5. The Mummy (1999 Remake)
This is a very, very loose remake of the 1932 horror film. Now I haven't actually seen the 1932 film yet, but I'm sure it's way better than this movie. The acting, the plot, the characters, they all suck. At times it's so silly, but not in a good way. It feels like a really bad kids movie, only with more violence. It's not good.

4. Batman Begins (2005 Reboot)
I'm sure many people will disagree with me on this, but this movie totally messed up Batman. It takes him way too seriously, they chose the most boring villain ever, Ra's Al Ghul, and Bale totally overdid the Batman voice. The begining is so long and drawn out, and it gets really boring. And the city he's in doesn't even feel like Gotham, because it's not gothic enough. Burton's 1989 film was much better. It got Gotham right, it had a better Batman actor, it was more exciting, and had better music too.

3. Godzilla VS Megaguirus (2000 Semi-Reboot)
This movie is a sequel to the original Godzilla, but ignores everything afterwards, so I guess you could call it a semi-reboot. It's really boring, and just has this depressing feel to it. The human characters are really lame too. The only cool thing about it is Megaguirus, and a return of the Meganulon from Rodan, everything else in the movie is crap.
Another that's really bad worth mentioning is Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack. What a great title, right? It's about as bad as VS Megaguirus, and like that one it is a sequel to the original Godzilla and ignores everything in the middle. Baragon is actually really awesome in that movie, his battle with Godzilla is sweet. But the final battle with Mothra and Ghirorah is rather bland. The actors are just horrible, and the characters they play and boring. Also the monster suits, excluding Baragon's, aren't very good. A lot of people love it, but I couldn't watch it all in one sitting.

2. Karate Kid (2010 Remake)
It doesn't even make sense. It's called "Karate Kid", so you would think it's about Karate, right? No, he's learning Kung Fu. The camera is shaky, and no one is as likable as they were in the 80's film. Everyone's whiny and they seem depressed. Also, in the original the kid would learn karate by doing chores. He would do moves like "Sand the floor", or "wax on, wax off", but in this movie it's "Pick up the jacket". How lame is that? Plus the kid is only 12 years old, he knows this girl for maybe 2 weeks, and they start kissing already. What the heck?

1. Godzilla (1998 Remake)
This movie is pretty boring, and the monster isn't nearly as cool as the Japanese Godzilla, but the quality of the film is only half the problem. Now the majority of people in America under the age of 20 haven't heard of the Japanese Godzilla, only the thing in this movie, and that is just sad. Plus the Godzilla fanbase is filled with angry fanboys who won't shut up about it. It's been almost 15 years since it was made, it's time to just forget about it, but it seems they just don't want to. This film is just such a disaster.

The Wolfman (2010) Review

*******************************************SPOILER ALERT!**********************************************

  I am a big fan of the original 1941 Wolf Man movie. He's my favorite Universal monster, so I got interested in seeing the remake from 2010. As far as remakes go, it's not totally horrible. I've definitely seen worse.
  Plot goes like this, Lawrence Talbot is visiting his father and gets bit by a werewolf, he kills a bunch of people and goes to an asylum, he finds out his father is also a werewolf, he kills some more people, he fights his dad and kills him, and then gets killed himself.
  It starts out pretty good, it feels like a Wolfman movie, but they change the storyline a bit. In the original Larry is testing a telescope and spots a girl, he goes to her shop to talk to her and buys a special cane with a silver wolf head on it. He takes her and her friend to get their fortune told by some gypsies, and they get attacked by a werewolf. He kills the werewolf with the silver cane after getting bit, and that's how he gets the curse. In this he meets an old man on a train who gives him the cane, and then it doesn't appear again until the very end. It doesn't really have much to do with the story, I think it's really just there because they wanted to pay homage to the original movie more.
  He does meet a girl, but she doesn't have a very big effect on the plot, unlike the original where the girl is a lot more important and indirectly caused him to be bitten by the wolf.
  Kinda like Tim Burton's Sleepy Hallow, they try to make the main character more interesting by giving him more background story. And like Sleepy Hallow, it was unnecessary, and didn't make me like the character any more. If they wanted to make him more likable, they needed to try to replicate what Lon Chaney Junior did. His acting was just much more dramatic, and I liked the character more. But in this Benicio Del Toro was just kinda blah through the whole movie, and I really didn't care about him much.
  There's a lot of boring parts, and a lot of scenes that try to make you jump, but they don't really work too well.
  The end was cool when both him and his father were werewolves fighting each other. I always wanted to see two werewolves fight. And then when there was an angry mob with a bunch of torches going after the monster. That's when it started to feel more like a Universal monster movie.
  At the end he catches his girlfriend and hesitates killing her. I didn't really like that too much. He's not supposed to have feelings for her when he's a wolf, all he wants to do is kill, or at least that's the way it should be.
  So anyway, she ends up killing him with a silver bullet, he turns into a human and they have an emotional moment together, and that's really it. Of course it's going to have flaws, and it's not going to be as good as the original, but as far as remakes go it's not too bad. At least it doesn't demolish the Wolfman's good name like some other remakes have done to other characters. And I'm glad it only uses CGI when it really needs to. If you are a fan of Universal Monsters and the Wolfman, go ahead and check it out. Just remember it's not going to be that great.

My Rating: 6/10

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) Review

   Last Night I watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. To be honest, it was kind of stupid. First of all it didn't have a very good plot. Bunch of killers go around blasting the guts out of people, and then there's this sheriff who wants to get revenge on them for killing his nephew, well an unlikable girl gets caught up in it. It's pretty lame.

   All the villains in this movie aren't very cool, not even Leatherface is. He was okay in the first movie, but in this he's just some stupid love struck retard. And Choptop is one of the most over rated horror characters of all time. People say he's cool because he's over the top and really weird. Well, it's true, he is over the top and weird, but not in a good way, he's just stupid. I think Angry Video Game Nerd's Choptop parody was actually better.

   There are a few good things about this movie though. The beginning when Leatherface is killing those teenagers in the car was kinda fun, probably the best scene in the whole movie. But everything else in the movie was so dumb and pointless.

   It wasn't very good as a horror movie, and it was terrible as a comedy. I didn't laugh once. They didn't seem to try too hard with this. I will probably avoid the other sequels, but I might just watch the remake. Kinda curious as to what that is like.

My rating: 4/10

Gojira(1954) Review

GOJIRA(1954)
  Gojira, aka Godzilla, is the first a a long line of giant monster movies by Toho
Co. Ltd in Japan. In a nutshell, the film's about a prehistory creature who is unleashed upon the world by an atomic explosion, and attacks Japan. It was created as a metaphor for the dangers of nuclear weapons, and is much darker and more serious than later movies in the series. 
  The special effects are nothing compared to today's standards, but I still appreciate all the work that went into the miniature sets and all that the suit actor had to go through. Did you know that the Godzilla suit was originally over 200 pounds? The actor, Haruo Nakajima, passed out from the heat every now and then.
  The music by Akira Ifikube, is magnificent. One of the greatest soundtracks of all time. 
  If you don't have the patience for slow movies it might not be for you, otherwise it's highly recommended. Also if you don't like reading subtitles, than you might want to watch Godzilla, King of the Monsters! instead. It's more or less the same movie, just with scenes of an American guy added in. I personally think the Japanese version is better, but if you don't like reading subtitles than you might like that version more.


My Rating: 8.5/10

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) Review

  When I first saw this movie I absolutely hated it, now I don't think it's really bad, it just seems bad when you first watch it cause you have such high expectations, and the last two were so good, and then it kinda lets you down. If you are a fan of Pirates of the Caribbean, then I say go ahead and watch it, but don't expect it to be as good as the others.


My Rating: 6/10

Madagascar

  Madagascar 3 is coming out soon, and this time the animals are in Europe. If they are in Europe, why is it still being called "Madagascar"? It doesn't make sense. They could just change the title, other movies have done that. For example, Night of the Living Dead had a sequel, but it wasn't called "Night of the Living Dead 2", it was called "Dawn of the Dead". I suppose they want to keep the Madagascar name to attract fans of the original movie, but still, it doesn't make any sense.